Welcome back from the weekend! I’ve been hit with some sort of sinus/throat bug starting Friday night and I’m still trying to kick it today. Jude and I are planning to stick around the house all day today, lounging and playing and staying in sweatpants. Big plans, guys.
And if you missed it on Instagram this weekend, we finally announced that we are expecting our second baby boy in June! And we couldn’t be more excited to have a little brother for Jude, who’s already excited about being a big brother… especially given the fact that he is a little confused about the whole thing still.
For some reason, when talking about the second baby it was mixed emotions. I always knew I wanted to have more than one kid, but I wasn’t prepared for the emotions that came with it. I love my Jude, and he is my baby! I was so excited to breach the topic with Matt and discuss our little family and how to grow it.
But later that night I was upset and didn’t know why. I thought it was because of some other home improvement projects we discussed and being frustrated in how I communicated them to Matt. Nothing he did, just frustrated with myself. The next day as I was mulling over a second baby in my mind, I started to get upset again. And then I realized why I was sad.
Jude is my firstborn, my sweet boy, my baby. With another, there will be another to love and care for. Do I want to disrupt the good thing we have going with Jude? Everyone always says your heart grows and is able to love another baby just as much as the first. But is that really possible?
The only thing I can compare it to is when I was pregnant with Jude. I kept thinking, What if I don’t love my child as much as my dog, Wickett? I know, pretty silly. But I was nervous because I loved my dog. A lot. And now that Jude is here, I still love Wickett but love my boy even more.
I’m guessing this is just a taste on what it’s like when baby number two comes around. I keep hearing and reading that my heart will double in size and just grow to contain the love of two children. And I feel that love growing as my belly grows with this precious baby.
Happy Monday, friends! I hope you have a great start to your week!